It's been a few months...

...and we're still very much in love with each other! I've been pretty busy and haven't been able to keep up on this. I'm going to try and do better with updating now. In these last few months my husband has switched positions at work and we now have every Sunday together! I love it! Another new development, I've partnered with a company that manufactures safe for home and the environment products that I've fallen in love with :-) (Gotta add that love word every once in a while, right?). I'm so happy to be able to contribute financially even though I've got 4 little monkey's jumping around and need my constant attention. Finally, the last new development since I wrote last is that I am pregnant with baby number 5! You have no idea how much love you can feel from your spouse when you are carrying his fifth child! Of course I felt it with every child, but it seems to grow with each new baby. Having children is difficult and expensive and time consuming, but knowing that your spouse is open to have more than the standard two kids gives an overwhelming feeling of being loved! Obviously, every child allows me to love even more. It's amazing how God created our hearts to grow with each new gift of life he gives us!

1) Where we were

Everyone knows how to love, right? It's human nature. Why, then, did my husband and I feel unloved by the other? We knew that we loved the other, but the other didn't feel it. We weren't doing something right. Not only were we not doing something right, we were also adding insult to injury by trying to fill the void with other things/people. We both did things that would make most people run. Well, I did run. I took our four children and moved out. I was done suffering and causing pain. I thought this was the only way to get out of the vicious cycle. I was wrong. There was another way. My husband knew the answer. When I came to pick up the kids from his house one night, I understood what that other way was. My husband told me that we are both broken and our brokenness is keeping us from loving and feeling loved. Yes, we needed help in dealing with past hurts, but more importantly we needed to turn to the One who created us, the One who knows us, the One who loves us unconditionally. Who better to learn to love from than the One who IS love? It has only been a week since I've been home and we have been praying and talking, but I can already say that I have never felt more loved nor have I felt more in love with my husband than I do now. You always hear that you are supposed to keep God at the center of your relationship but I never fully understood what that meant til now. Yes, praying together is a huge part of it but it's also doing things like reading about God through stories about the saints, through the Bible, and through books on the faith while at the same time living each day for God. Doing the daily tasks for love of Him...not just because they need to be done. My husband loves God as do I and through that love we are learning to love each other. I can honestly say that I have never been happier in my life!